How Do You Define Yourself?

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”~Martha Graham

unique fish

I just had the pleasure of taking a yoga class from one of my former students, Annie Keller, at Mudita Yoga Studio.  As I rested in Savasana (final relaxation pose) I was overcome with emotion and gratitude.  Annie is not only a living, breathing,  little ball of love and sunshine, she is an intuitive and genuinely good yoga teacher.  And I am filled with gratitude that I was able to play a small role in her journey to where she is today.  Mostly, I am amazed that this young woman has such a strong sense of self, and is truly who she is.

For most of my life, my self-worth and self-definition has been based on what others think.  My love language is ‘words of affirmation’ and for so many years, I clung to words of affirmation like a lifeline, and withered in any circumstance where they didn’t come.   I cringe when I think about all of the pain and pressure this has caused to those close to me.  It’s an impossible ask for sure.

But in the wisdom of my years, I have come to realize that we are defined by the way people feel when they are with us.  And by the way they are when we leave them.  We are defined by our small acts of kindness.  By our hugs that last a little longer.  By the time we take to slow down and listen.  By the eye contact and the hand holding.  We are defined by our connection to each other.

Moving forward, let’s all take a lesson from Annie.  Let’s be ourselves.  Let’s express our life force, our truth, the only thing we can honestly and authentically express.  Let’s give from our hearts and worry less about what everyone thinks about what we’re giving.  And by the way who is ‘Everyone’ ?  It’s most likely the two or three people who, over the course of our lives did not approve of us.  The bully, the mean girl, the parent, the sibling.  And we made it mean Everyone, and Everything.

It’s simply not true.

What is true is that there is only one of you (and me) in all time, this expression is unique. 

Let’s not lose it.

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    About Denise Druce


    1. I love this Denise! I relate in a lot of ways. Thank you for sharing your beautiful self!

    2. Anna Johnson says:

      WOW!! Love This!!! GOOOOO ANNIE!!

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