May Day! May Day!
I can think of no better way to start this message. You’ve all gotten used to my game face. Today, you get to see my RBF. *Google it*
I really don’t like to complain, or focus on the negative. It’s not good for my physical, mental or emotional health. And it does no good in the world. I’d rather polish it up, apply lip gloss and shove that smiling pig out to the front of the stage. But since so many of you ask, “how are you really”? I will tell you. Today sucked.
For starters, there’s cancer and all of its adventures. I’m coming up on a year since diagnosis, and because there is no end in sight, or at least not a desired end, I think about my one year anniversary, and it makes me tired. Tired of meds. Tired of doctors’ offices. Tired of being tired.
Shouldn’t people with cancer get a hall pass on all the other shitty things in life?
But no. Yesterday in a spin class, I threw out my back. It’s in spasm, and I am moving like a 90 year old lady who never did yoga. So that’s fun. Then…
I got a call today from my dermatologist. The little suspicious mole on my back came back melanoma stage zero. Good news she says! Come in this afternoon and we will do a surgical incision and get it out. No further treatment needed. And so I did. Damn. That’s a procedure!
So here I am, in my bed at 6:52pm on a Wednesday, feeling sorry for myself. I want to be comfortable. I want to do the things that help me shake off days like this, like working out or doing yoga. Nothing heals my soul like seeing my friends in the gym, or online. But bed it is. As I sat here whining, and feeling sorry for myself, I got this from my friend April:
The human spirit,
Deemed frail,
Often proves
As tough as nails.
And given such
Incredible knack
It fights, resists,
And bounces back.
Come tough times
And tough blows,
The adrenalin
That somehow flows…
Signals to
The human will—
When all is done,
Keep fighting still. ~Walterrean Salley