Sorry…Not Sorry

“Living a meaningful life is not a popularity contest. If what you’re saying is always getting applause, you’re probably not yet doing the right stuff.” ~Marianne Williamson 2408542

 

This post begins with an apology. A heartfelt and sincere apology. I posted a meme on Facebook last week in response to the news that has been blowing up all news and social media. It garnered much attention on my Facebook feed, 50% praising me for being so loving and accepting and 50% scolding me for being so hurtful and insensitive. My apology is to both sides.

 

I want to publicly apologize for not being more real and more honest all along. I have lived my life as a chameleon, always trying to please and to fit in, wherever I am. I was raised Mormon, and I can hang with the faithful and speak their language. I left the church when I was 18, and can hang with the craziest of the partiers. You can count on me to say what I think you want to hear. To please you. To not cause conflict. And I really hate that about me.

 

So while it was not my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings in posting that meme, I do admit it was a passive aggressive move. I knew, deep down that it wouldn’t fly with my LDS family and friends. And I knew that my liberal friends would take up the cause and say the words that I am too chicken to say.

 

So here is what I really want to say. I love people. ALL people. Ask my Mom. From the time I was tiny, I always pulled for the underdog. My Dad was an alcoholic, and I saw people’s reactions to him when he came to church, smelling like smoke and booze. They snubbed him. Moved to another pew. And my little 5-year-old heart hurt for him. He needed love and acceptance,  and the fact that he had made the effort to clean up and go to church was huge to me. But not to them. He didn’t get the support that I PRAYED he would get there.

 

I have always loved colorful people. Tattoos, in my opinion add color to life. Stray mutts are much more fun than pure breads. I married a bad boy and love when my boys grow their hair long. I love Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, Muslims, and I love Mormons. They are really great people. When I was diagnosed with cancer, people I hardly know rushed in to help with meals and showered me with love and prayers. When I talk about Unity and ‘we are one’ and Namaste, I really, really, really mean it. Unconditionally.

 

So here’s where the ‘Not Sorry’ comes in. What I don’t love, what makes me want to hit something or post an offensive meme, is when someone assumes that their truth is THE truth. When someone assumes that their view of God is the only way to view God, and is not at all able to hold the concept that it is just THEIR truth, I come undone.

 

If I could change just one thing in the world, in my tiny little blip of time here, it would be this…we would all speak first person. We would all say “I believe…”. We would say “My truth” instead of “The truth”. We would all allow each other to seek the path that is right for them, and perhaps even honor that which feels like truth to another.

 

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    About Denise Druce

    Comments

    1. Great post!

    2. Well said. That’s my wish/hope as well.

    3. Denise, thank you! This is so powerful! Beyond what we have ever allowed for ourselves and those around us… Along with you, today, I am creating the possibility of having a world (starting with our family) where we are free to express our beliefs, feelings, wants, wishes, dreams, desires, fears, whatever ~ without making or being made wrong. I am creating the possibility of everyone in my life, able to share themselves without reservation, including me. I will share myself authentically; my life, my heart, my soul, ME ~ who I really am, having no other agenda besides sharing self and loving those around me! And for you to be able to share openly (you as in anyone outside of me), to feel respected for your beliefs, receiving nothing but love and respect and appreciation for who you are. Who you REALLY are; whole, complete and perfect, lacking nothing! I love you Denise. Thank you for who you are for me and who you are for everyone around you!

      • Thank you Sheri. Your words are encouraging and I feel your love. I’m so grateful for you and your accepting loving soul.

    4. Thank you for writing this. I’ll admit, I was shocked to see you post it. It didn’t feel like love for everyone. It hurt. It didn’t seem like the woman that I look up to and grew to deeply admire over our short training together.
      Also, I feel you. I hear you. I’m not really sure that there even is “one” truth-greater or more important to love- in fact, I’m certain their is not.
      Stop being a chameleon! Your truth is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen!
      With love and admiration, Maren

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