May Day! May Day!
I can think of no better way to start this message. You’ve all gotten used to my game face. Today, you get to see my RBF. *Google it*
I really don’t like to complain, or focus on the negative. It’s not good for my physical, mental or emotional health. And it does no good in the world. I’d rather polish it up, apply lip gloss and shove that smiling pig out to the front of the stage. But since so many of you ask, “how are you really”? I will tell you. Today sucked.
For starters, there’s cancer and all of its adventures. I’m coming up on a year since diagnosis, and because there is no end in sight, or at least not a desired end, I think about my one year anniversary, and it makes me tired. Tired of meds. Tired of doctors’ offices. Tired of being tired.
Shouldn’t people with cancer get a hall pass on all the other shitty things in life?
But no. Yesterday in a spin class, I threw out my back. It’s in spasm, and I am moving like a 90 year old lady who never did yoga. So that’s fun. Then…
I got a call today from my dermatologist. The little suspicious mole on my back came back melanoma stage zero. Good news she says! Come in this afternoon and we will do a surgical incision and get it out. No further treatment needed. And so I did. Damn. That’s a procedure!
So here I am, in my bed at 6:52pm on a Wednesday, feeling sorry for myself. I want to be comfortable. I want to do the things that help me shake off days like this, like working out or doing yoga. Nothing heals my soul like seeing my friends in the gym, or online. But bed it is. As I sat here whining, and feeling sorry for myself, I got this from my friend April:
The human spirit,
Deemed frail,
Often proves
As tough as nails.
And given such
Incredible knack
It fights, resists,
And bounces back.
Come tough times
And tough blows,
The adrenalin
That somehow flows…
Signals to
The human will—
When all is done,
Keep fighting still. ~Walterrean Salley
Sorry today was a pile-on. You’re entitled to a “may day” once in a while.
Re-join the fight tomorrow, we admire you for your energy and spirit!
Deanie
Thank you Deanie. I appreciate the day off the positive train 🙂
You definitely deserve a whine day… or a wine day? Good God Denise. It’s all too much. When do you get to go back to Hawaii..?? This snow in May isn’t helping! Sending you lots of love….💕
Seriously! I don’t have plans to return to Hawaii until December but maybe I need to change that! Thank you friend, I love you.
You are amazing, and strong, and beautiful, and inspiring. Put those legs up a wall and enjoy the down time, you will be back at it before you know it. Sending so much love!
Thank you friend. This means the world.
Sending much love 💕
You inspire me every day!
Thanks Nancy!!
Thanks for being real! You continue to be an inspiration to me. Not only are you dealing with cancer, but you seem to almost always have a positive attitude about it all. I may have lost my hair, but I’m so grateful that it didn’t fall out because I was going through what you are. I did one of your classes on YouTube last week. You are and always will be one of my most influential mentors. Thanks for whining a little today. We all need to let it out sometimes. ❤️🙏❤️
Thanks friend. Love you and I am so glad you found a class on YouTube. Even teachers need to be a student sometimes.
My heart goes out to you. It’s ok to rest and be kind to yourself. Sending you good vibes and light!💜
Thank you Dora.
I’m glad you took a May Day. Sometimes (for me anyway) that’s much harder to do than being strong. Being vulnerable is always hard. I love you so much. Thanks for being you, in every way. ❤️
So true. Thanks for the validation. Love you.
Love you Denise! It was nice to hear how you are REALLY doing. I’m sorry you have to go through all of that and that the cancer has gone on for so long. I recently had a huge excision for a cancerous mole too so I feel you on that one- it’s not fun. I love you!
Love you Tara. I hope everything turned out for the best on your end??
Denise, thank you! Even when you are “complaining” you are lifting me. I needed this poem today, too! Love and prayers.
Thanks Meg. I love you.
Denise, it is because of your authenticity in putting your humanity out there, that you are so loved and respected. You don’t hide behind what isn’t authentic. The sun will rise and shine tomorrow! Blessings.
I appreciate that Francesca 🧡🧡🧡
Everyone deserves a break even if it means to kvetch for a minute to blow off some steam. Hang in there, mama! We’re all rooting for you. xoxo
You make my world warmer April 🩵
Denise, I’m sorry your having a day. I wish you an amazing tomorrow 💕💕💕
❤️Wendy Speers
Today is a new day. Love is all around me. And on we go…
Thank you for being courageously vulnerable enough to share how you really are. Sending you love.
Thank you for hearing me, and always sending love back.
Take a May Day… or two or three. It is so inspiring that even as you put on your beautiful RBF, you are still doing and living yoga as you breathe and listen to your body and take what you need moment by moment.
You are a glorious , radiant lotus 🪷flower who is holding space in the mud now, and you will burst forth again with beauty and strength.
As always, wrapping you up in prayers and much love.🩷
Thank you Stephanie. I will take two. Today is not much better. Just got out of a CT scan. Send those prayers!!!
I always look to you for encouragement on my tough days. So today on one of your “shitty , I’m tired of this days “ I want you to know as I’m sure you do that this day too shall pass tomorrow will be better and you have so many people that are sending love your way. ❤️🙏
Thanks friend. I will take two! Sending love. I will be back to my encouraging self soon 🙂
Good wishes and many moments of gratitude to you for the guidance and encouragement you’ve shown me over the many years since my first class with you at Sugarhouse 24HrFitness. I admire you all the more for your unfailing honesty with us this week. Thanks for taking care of yourself and reaching out. Looking forward to the next time I see you. Know that you are in a warm place in my heart. I hope you can feel it. ❤️
I can feel it! I so appreciate these words from you 💗
Oh, Denise, it Sounds like you had what we call in our family “a dumb day.” Some days can we can feel off, or bad news presents. Sometimes we just wake up grouchy, just because. It all feels like too much.
Well, you my dear, had a dumb day. The sun will Set and rise and you will wake up anew. Ready to face whatever. Or you’ll have another dumb day. But I guarantee you won’t have dumb days for eternity.
So settle in to What is. Give yourself space and grace. Let all Of us carry the load. We’ve got you!
Alison
Dumb day is the best description I have heard. It’s been a mostly dumb week. Thank you for the love and encouragement 🧡