Literally…the greatest honor of my 40 year fitness career. I got to stand on the stage at the world’s largest fitness convention, and accept the 2023 World IDEA Inspiration Award. You can catch my acceptance speech HERE.
In my speech, I also shared what is literally the hardest news I have ever received. My Guru, cancer, has returned. It’s in my lungs, and in my spine. I am going to pick up where I left off back in 2015, with what I am now referring to as “cancer lite”. Tracking the story, as it unfolds here. My hope is that this new adventure will help you go through your hard things, with ease and grace. My hope is that you will stand here with me, again, at the Soft Edge of the Hard Place.
On June 19th, I went to see my oncologist for an annual follow up visit. I told her I had a knot behind my shoulder blade, and it had been around for awhile. She ordered a CT scan. On June 21st, while driving to the prison to teach, I got the call no one ever wants to get. “Your cancer is back.”
Over the past 6 weeks, I have had a Pet Scan, a spine biopsy, and other testing. We now know that this cancer is the same as last time. ER positive, HER2 negative, metastatic breast cancer. We also know that it is Stage 4, and incurable. I get to live with this guru. Key word LIVE.
The treatment plan is this. I will start immediately on estrogen blocker medications for 3 months. Then we’ll do another scan. The hope is that the cancer has shrunk, or at least stayed the same. The side effects are supposedly not as bad as regular chemotherapy, fingers crossed there.
So how am I?
My pat answer right now is “if I didn’t know, I wouldn’t know”. I feel great. My energy is good, I can’t imagine life being any better. I am doing everything I can to stay present, and not get too far ahead of myself. Google is my nemesis, so I am avoiding that. My husband has become an internet cancer expert so I have to shut him and his talk about averages down frequently. And when my thoughts drift to what-ifs and fear based thinking, I use the tools that I teach every day. Take a deep breath, feel your body here, now, find something to be grateful for, and proceed.
I am radically cleaning up my diet and nutrition habits, resting more, and continuing to do what I love, which is teaching, and moving my body. Being out here in life, with you.
Class is in session, the teacher is in the room. Time to learn some new lessons. And breathe.
Lesson #1, just 6 weeks in…I know for certain, the hard things in our lives remind us that at the end of the day, what matters most is that we LOVED. So go out and love, people. Start with yourself, love on those close to you, and especially, love those who are the hardest to love. Don’t wait for the guru to show up.
You are amazing, Denise! Such a gift 🎁 to know you and call you a friend. 🥰
Thank you Jennifer.
I am sorry to hear this news. You are inspiring and continue to teach us all as you continue to learn. Sending you light and love!❤️🙏🏻❤️
Thank you so much Andrea.
Denise,
Thank you for this, and for the countless ways you choose to be a lighthouse in the most desolate darkness. Your guru is our guru. We are here for you and with you. We are all just walking each other home.
Love you dearly,
Elisa
Yes, exactly. Let’s walk.
I am so glad you are blogging on your journey. Thank you for taking us along with you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LOVE
I am holding space filled w light and love! 💕
Thank you for saying all of this. So many people need to hear your advice on LOVE.
I am listening and hoping and pulling for you all at once. Thanks for using your powerful voice.
Love this Denise. Thank you! Radical Acceptance. So Beautifully said. Thank you!
Inspired words. All the love to you dear friend. I’ll carry that advice with me. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
Denise, you are an inspiration. Your words are truly words of wisdom. Thank you.
Denise, you are Love and you are Loved. Standing at the soft edge with you and circling you in prayer, strength, and gratitude for the beacon of Light which you are.
Thank you Stephanie. I feel your prayers from here.
Imagine a space packed with people – like Tina in Rio with 188,000 fans! – people you have inspired that love you and are cheering you on. You have changed my life Denise with your wisdom and courage and your positive and loving energy. Thank you with all my heart. Healing thoughts are with you every day!
Thank you so much Friend, love you much.
Denise – saddened to hear this. Sending love & peace to you !
Thank you Nancy. This means the world.
Love you my dear sweet friend – always here.
Love you back. And I miss you!!
I am consistently grateful for your strength and grace and inspiration. Love you, Denise!
Thank you Helen ❤️
In life’s journey I have been fortunate to have met about 6 “special people “. You are one of those people. I knew you were special when I first met you at your spin instructor classes in Utah and Wyoming. You are very open, honest and motivating!! Although we have not seen each other for several years I have enjoyed keeping track of you through your e-mails.although I am not “into yoga” yet I am still spinning 3times a week. In addition to the yoga community you are admired and loved by the “spin” community
Thank you so much, Tom. That means the world to me. I love the Spin community as well!
Such and inspiring teacher you are. Thank your for your example of love, light and endurance.
Thank you Jennifer. Love you.
Sorry to hear this news-shall keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Be well & stay positive & present.
Thank you Susan.
Denise~ I truly believe that you are not only a teacher but one of the greatest inspirations I’ve ever known. As I fight daily against autoimmune disorders, you inspire me to be present, to love myself more, to continue to move my body and feed my mental health with positive affirmations. I appreciate you sharing your health challenges with us We can lift you as you have lifted us for many years. You are right!! LIVE IN THE NOW! I try to live each day with the intention to be the best version of myself. I’m wishing you the very best health moving forward. My prayers are with you. As you stated not long ago….WE CAN DO HARD THINGS. YES!! WE CAN!! Sending you much love, light & strength my friend ❤️
Thank you Gigi, and YES we can. We absolutely can! Love you.