Week three since my diagnosis, and I feel like I’m on a train moving at warp speed. There are so many decisions to make, so much uncertainty, and I just want to DO THIS like I do everything else. I want to check it off, close the book and move on. I have a feeling that is one of the big lessons in store for me.
In one week, I will be standing right on the edge of the hard place. I’m scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy on May 11th. Don’t bother Googling, it means I’m having both breasts removed and having reconstructive surgery all at the same time. It’s a big deal. And I’m scared. Mostly of the unknown. They will know while I’m under anesthesia if the cancer has spread. My husband will know that before I do. That’s unsettling. And what about recovery? I have a summer schedule that would make a rock star look like a slacker. I have a feeling that this too is a lesson I will be learning.
So once again, the words I say every day come back to me. “Breathe. Be present. Feel what you feel. Slow down. Let go. Open to this moment, however difficult. Let it move through you. This challenge is your Guru, your teacher. Let the teaching begin.”
I love the breast cancer movement, with all its pink and positivity. I don’t, however, like the words fight and battle. It feels to me that to fight this would mean to close myself off, grit my teeth, constrict and play defense. I’d rather approach cancer as a teacher. A lesson I can choose to be open to and learn from. I am eternally grateful to all of you who are learning with me.
Oh, Denise…….You have been on my mind so much lately! I love the words you say every day. Powerful, for sure. You will continue to be on my mind, in my thoughts and in my prayers, as you travel through this journey! Love and hugs to you……
You, Denise, are an amazing person, and an inspiration for any who have to go through the same or any struggle. I am certain you’ll get through this. Stay strong and keep on breathing!
Love Teashia
You are an amazing woman Denise!!
Every moment in your class is always inspiring, and I am praying for you to have peace, love and strength at this time.
Because breast cancer sucks, so we should pray and breathe constantly in order to kick its butt. My mind is here with you, gathering the best energy for you to conquer the rocky road.
Lots of hugs to dear Denise. Love you.
Stacey
Denise- I have been thinking about you and wanted to share a great quote from Elizabeth Gilbert that I think is fitting for who you are…..
“The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because “stuff” worked out. They got that way because “stuff” went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days. But they handled it. Those women are my superheros.”
You exemplify this through your courage and how real you have been through your journey with breast cancer.
You, Michael and your boys will be in my prayers.
You’ve got this superhero!
Hugs,
Karla
My loving and healing thoughts are with you and your family today!