“Disregard what others think and the prison door will swing open.” ~Lao Tzu
You’ve heard the saying “what others think about me is none of my business” right? I have been thinking about a deeper concept. The 20-40-60 rule. For sure because I am knocking on 60’s door!
In our 20’s and 30’s we tend to be consumed by what other people think. We dress, talk, act, spend, engage, and even view ourselves through the lenses of public opinion. Social media has exacerbated this I am sure.
In our 40’s and 50’s, we start to care less about what people think. I call these years the F-you 50’s for this reason. With each day that passes, I feel more liberated as I worry less about what you think about me.
But here’s the kicker. In our 60’s something magical happens. We look back, and realize that exactly no one was thinking about us all along. No. One. They were all busy worrying about what others thought about them! Ugh.
What a waste of time, energy, and years that could have been spent on self love and liberation! Why can’t we know this in our earlier decades?
If I can share anything with my younger friends, it is this. The prison of others’ approval is actually one built by you, maintained by you, and guarded by you. It may have started in Junior High by the mean girl, or bully who was probably more insecure than anyone. That was then. If you are still stuck in the prison of shame and fear of judgment, remember that you hold the key to your own freedom.
I challenge you. Speak up. Speak out. Take up some space and stop apologizing. Please don’t wait until you are 60 to find your authentic voice, and use it for good in the world. Start with safe spaces, and people. Like me, and here. Comment and speak your truth. I am listening, and cheering you on!