I don’t think I have taught a class in the last six months where I haven’t said
“find the soft edge of the hard place”. Get into a challenging yoga pose, breathe, and find calm inside of shaking legs. Peace inside of doubt. Ease inside of fear. I am now being handed an invitation to live these words. Today, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
It’s hard to explain how it feels to be sitting, waiting in a doctors’ office, to see the door open, and to hear a doc walk in and say ‘you have cancer’. But I now understand the stories told by thousands of other women who have walked this road. Everything that comes after that is a blur. You hear bits and pieces. Invasive. Non-invasive. Survival rates. Mastectomy. Losing hair. Is this me sitting here? It’s all a blur.
And then the doctor leaves the room. You look at your husband, he holds you, and then you both cry. This is gonna suck isn’t it? This is the proverbial hard place.
This, my friends, is the real deal. It’s where we get to dig down and find what we’re really made of. It’s where all of the small complaints fall away, and where we quickly get to look at what really matters. As I sat with my husband and sons at the table tonight, I felt the weight of it all. It will be hard. It will suck. And I will survive. I pray for Grace, Courage, and Strength. I also pray that I can stand on the edge of something hard, and scary and uncomfortable and still find the soft edge. Stand with me. We’ve got this.