“As time goes by, suddenly you’re wise, another blink of an eye, sixty-seven is gone.The sun is getting high, we’re moving on…” ~Five for Fighting
And just like that, it’s June, my favorite month. Because it’s my birthday month, and because Geminis are my favorite people. I married one and gave birth to one. Never a dull moment around here. It’s “soft summer”. Not by the calendar yet, but it’s summer. Warm days and easy breezy nights. Bar-B-Q’s and patios. Tank tops, flip flops, suntans. We didn’t really get a summer last year, and it feels like my soul is alive again.
Every year on my birthday, I find a place to be alone and listen to this song. And I cry. I cry because I was just 15. I was just 22. I was just 33. I was just 45. And in a few more blinks I will be saying I was just 58. Why, as we emerge from a pandemic when time seemed to stand still, does it now feel like I am standing next to a freeway and life is racing past?
I think it’s because now I officially have less blinks ahead of me than I do behind me. I feel an urgency to savor the blinks I have. To make sure that the way I spend my days means something, to me and the people around me. In the past, that meant saying YES to every invitation, and trying to do it all. Right now, I feel compelled to say NO more, so I can say YES to what really matters.
As we come out of our long hibernation, some of us are running into life with arms in the air, maskless, and unafraid. Some of us are tiptoeing out, masks on sometimes, off sometimes. Uncertain, cautious. And still others are not coming out yet at all. I am probably somewhere in the middle. Vaxxed, healthy, ready for some social interaction, and also cautious. I have no desire to get back to “normal” as I knew it before last year.
I hope we can continue to extend each other the grace to navigate this time of change and transition with less judgement and more empathy. If I decline an invitation, it’s not personal. It is me trying to figure out new boundaries, and not entirely wanting to jump back into my YES to-all-things life.
We’ll see how it goes. But for now, Happy Summer, put on your sunglasses, and don’t blink.