Early in my fitness career, I attended the IDEA World Fitness convention. I will never forget the words of the keynote speaker (although I forgot who said them). They asked the audience to imagine they could put all of their worries, struggles, life burdens into their gym bag, and bring them to the stage and leave them. The only caveat is, you have to pick up someone else’s gym bag. In one minute I went from ‘that would be so great’ to ‘uh…no way. I’ll keep my own’.
It’s a principle I have held as a core belief ever since. I believe that we each get what we are prepared for, what we need for our soul’s growth, at just the right time. This core belief, like all core beliefs is not the ultimate Truth, but it is my truth. It helps me navigate the times when my backpack is extra heavy. Like now.
Here’s an update. Last week I had an MRI and a CT scan. The results came back as “all good” meaning the cancer is responding to the meds, I am tolerating them with minor side effects, and we plan to stay the course.
The meds I am taking are oral chemo. Specifically Kisquali, a Targeted Chemo drug. Instead of taking down the whole body, these new drugs target the specific cancer. I am also getting injections of Faslodex, a hormone blocker that prevents the cancer from finding new sites to attach to.
As I understand it, we are inching closer to cancer being a chronic disease that one can ‘live with’ for a long time. I’m going with that.
My backpack is heavy, but some of that is the weight of my tools…my yoga mat, meditation cushion, journal, and an army of people cheering and praying for me.
I honestly wouldn’t trade my backpack for anyone else’s. People say to me every day ‘my problems aren’t anywhere near yours’ and to that, I strongly disagree. Your struggles are heavy to YOU. We all have a backpack, we all have heavy loads, and we all have the muscles (and hopefully a few friends) that have prepared us to carry our load.
If your load is a little lighter today, Thank God, and then look for someone who might need a little break. We’re all just walking each other home.
You’re such a beautiful writer and a beautiful person! Thanks for spreading so much love!
You’re so welcome. Thank you for being on this path with me.
Love this. Reminds me of lines from a favorite South African Freedom Fighter song: “Courage, my friend; you do not walk alone. I will, walk with you, and sing your spirit home.” 💗
That’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for being a friend who is helping me walk my way home. Hugs❣️
I love our time together on this path Michelle.
Denise, congratulations on your great news and sending prayers that more good news follows. Thank you for all your gifts that you share so generously. Namaste.
Thank you Francesca. Your prayers are working!
Denise
I have been thinking of you and have you on my prayer list for months. Know I am there. Love the classes they are keeping me in shape physically and mentally. 💕
Arleen
I am so glad to know you’re still my “student” in a strange 2023 virtual way. Love you Arleen!
Denise – Thank you for sharing your journey. I used to hear you say in yoga (at 24 hour fitness), “this is how it is now” – you would tell us this in challenging poses. But it applies in life in so many ways. Thank you for all the goodness you bring to this world!
It’s true isn’t it? It’s like this now works in so many situations. Even the most challenging!
I completely agree with Ashlee: “it’s like THIS now.”
I feel so fortunate to be able to witness You revel in the moments of bliss, the simple things, the poses, the trainings. You inspire those around you just by being you. AND you are taking it one day, one pill, one injection, one scan, one appointment at a time.
Both, And.
You have taught me that Life happens in between breaths and in between these milestones. Thank you for the reminder to stay in the present moment, because it’s like THIS now, and only for right now. Santosha.
Much love and light, Alison Fall YTT 23
How did I get so lucky to have you in my life? These past months have been so joyful for me to see you absorbing the gifts of yoga. Thank you for these words. It’s like this NOW.
Such good news Denise!! Thank you so much for keeping us up to date in such a personal journey. You are a fierce warrior and there is only Now, Now and Now🤍 Love Love and more love.
Love you lady!!
I love this so much! Sending you all the light and love I possess!
Thanks for sharing! I love hearing good news. Though I don’t know you I am so grateful that I get to read these messages and continue to shine my light w beautiful insights from you!
Thank you Sue. Your comment made my day.
So grateful that your news is good and you can continue the fight with hope. Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll try to find joy in my backpack!
So much joy to be found. I assume it’s harder with the news you have to witness everyday. I have the luxury of tuning out, a lot. Love you!